Dear Gilmans;

I read the article in the Sunday paper.  Here is one other thing that could use some "reform".  In August 1996 a police officer showed up at our home at 11:00 pm.  We have never had this kind of experience before. We let the officer in and he began to question us about bruises found on my stepson. He had just finished a week-long stay with us. He had just turned 3 years old and while he was with us and our other 3 boys he potty-trained.  His mother was very unhappy that I overstepped my boundary and decided to teach us a lesson.  Her plan was to scare us but not press charges.  As she later found out, it was not up to her what happens next.

We denied any type of abuse. No one ever looked at the child to see if there were bruises, no one went to talk to his mother in person, they just took her report by phone and that was it. Next, we had a follow up visit by an officer.  No one ever talked to the children in our home or asked to see them.  I lost my daycare license and was no longer allowed to volunteer at my sons pre-school. 

After 6 weeks of investigating they determined it was unfounded but could not erase the mark on our record that child abuse had been reported.  Still, no one ever went to see the child or talk to him or his mother again. We did not see him for nearly 3 months.   We were scared of her making another false report and us losing our 3 other children. 

One year later in August of 1997, my stepson was wearing shoes that were so big for him it was rubbing blisters on his feet.  He told her that she needed to get him shoes that fit, and she was upset that he was butting in. This time a plain clothes detective came to our house in the middle of the day with my children present and took my husband outside to talk. Again she had made a false report, he did talk to her this time and interviewed my stepson and said in his report that the child seemed "rehearsed".   It took 6 months this time to get this case declared unfounded and now there are 2 marks on our record for child abuse. We were told by the detective that the next call will be 3 strikes, you're out...people dont go around calling in false reports for nothing.

It has not been one year and 8 months since we have had him for a visit. We go to his home and visit him with his mother present for his birthday and holidays. My husband stops by once a month to see him. He was young when this all started and now at age 5 he believes he was abused by his father. We, too, live in fear of disciplining our children especially when we have to reports on our record, and there was no dicipline or anything that happened.  We would like to see that people can't just make calls for no reason.   If calls are investigated and there has been no abuse, it should not look on your record like there was.

Thank you and good luck!

Jennifer Flowers