Dear Gilman family,

I found your site and appreciate that others can relate to my pain. My case started in July of 95.  I was arrested for a crime that they knew I didn't commit.  They held me in jail for 3 days, just long enough to take my child. I got him back after fighting for a year, and then after a year of him back in my home, on the last court date (supposed to be when they would close my case) a new caseworker came to my home.

She claimed that my house was unsafe and dirty, but I only had the normal daily mess you get from having 2 children. They even put on the court report that there were toys strewn around the house--my kids were 1 and 4...what do they expect!!  I had had a worker see my home just 7 days before, and it was fine.

Another twist on mine--my case started in Rogers County when my and my husband were temporarily staying with his dad. We moved shortly after it started to Tulsa county (about an hour away) because of our jobs.  Rogers county refused, and still does, to move the case to the county we live in! We moved over 3 years ago!

The county we live in thinks we are good parents, and doesn't understand why they won't close the case and give us the kids, but they have no say in court.  They are involved, but the other county never uses their reports.  I would really like to talk to someone who has been in my situation, because mine is still going on after over 3 1/2 years.

I attached a poem I wrote that I would like to share with anyone who can relate to what we've gone through. Feel free to share it if you like, but I do not want to attach my name with it at this point. Please let me know what you think.

Thankful to talk to someone who knows.

Joy--a mother in Oklahoma

"Letter to a Caseworker"

They think that they're God; What gives them the right

To decide for you If you're living wrong or right.

You must do this, you can't do that

And don't dare mess up because they know where you're at.

You're afraid to speak, You're afraid to say

That they are wrong: All you can do is pray.

So in your head you write them this letter,

At least you might feel a little bit better:

Why are you so powerful with the place that you're at?

You're just another person, with an authority hat.

You're not perfect, you make mistakes!

But I'm the one you watch from the time I awake.

Any little thing, you'll twist and distort

To make it how you want when you take me to court.

Sitting there in your authority place,

You openly smile at the grief on my face.

I hope that someday you too will discover

There's someone for you with an authority cover.

Someone to show you all you've done wrong;

Someone to say, "Oh, this won't take long.

And while you're waiting, you have to do this,

This is the punishment for the crime you didn't commit."

Maybe then you'd learn how it is.

Maybe you'd think twice before taking our kids.

Maybe you'd look at what's really going on,

Instead of saying to yourself, "Oh, the father is gone.

The mother is young, so she must not know

All the right ways to help her child grow.

I'll find it a home with someone more stable."

Knowing damn well that mother was able.

Then you find a 'nice' home Where they have lots of money.

Now you're driving a new car- Isn't that funny?

You took THAT child because the mom got high.

But that rumor about you, THAT one's a lie!

You act like you're God because you have a high position,

But look in the mirror: you'll see the real villian.

You condemn others for things you do as well

But you need not worry-your coworkers won't tell.

You prey on people in bad situations

The ones who work 2 jobs.

The ones who don't have a college education.

You look for victims of circumstance

And then you take away their only chance.

I hope that someday it'll come back to you.

They'll acuse you of neglect--it doesn't matter if it's true.

They'll take YOUR child, and find a 'nice' home,

Hey, what do you know?

That worker got a new cell phone.

Then they'll smile, as they watch you cry

And explain to you how they validate that lie.

It doesn't matter if you're black or white;

It doesn't matter if you're wrong or right.

Because once you encounter that authority face,

It doesn't matter: You're just another case.

For those of you with a lot of money, you need not worry

Just hire a bigwig lawyer

and they'll leave you alone in a hurry.

I don't know how you can go through your day

With your job choice--taking kids away.

It started out as a way to save

All the innocent, taken too early to their grave.

But unfortunately, somehow money became involved,

And thus, child adoption scams evolved.

What's really sad and makes me cry

Is all the children that have to die.

It seems the cases that are truly severe,

You let it go on, year after year.

You seem to ignore the real abuse

Until one day it's in the paper and on the news.

How can you let kids stay in homes like that?

I guess that's not where the money's at.

You find the cute kids that are really nice,

Then you take them away for having head lice.

You want the kids that are well-behaved;

The ones who are loved; the ones who are praised.

The kids who HAVE been hurt are always sad.

They don't understand why they're always bad.

They cry a lot and have bad dreams,

It's harder to find homes for them, it seems.

You're supposed to help, Instead you harm.

The family has a good attorney? No need for alarm.

Just return THAT child and find another,

This time find one with a low-income mother.

Find a little girl who's as pretty as a flower

And then take her away with your authoritive power.

Make sure she's sweet, and her temperament's mild,

Then tell the court, "it's what's best for the child."

It doesn't matter if the reason is lame,

Because the judge, too, is in on the game.

I hope that someday you can walk in my shoes;

That they take your child for false abuse.

Then maybe you can look back and see

All the families you've destroyed just to collect a fee.

And when that day comes and it happens to you,

You'll know in your heart that what I'm saying is true.