Hi, my name is Crystal, I am 14 and I've done a terrible thing. I've made the worst mistake in my life. I told a terrible lie, and not only got myself but my family in the biggest nightmare you could ever imagine. At this point in time, I can't believe that I thought this, but I was selfish and I was jealous of my Dad, and I thought he had something I didn't. I wanted my Mom and Dad to get a divorce so I could have Mom all to myself. I tried for a long time to split them up, without hardly noticing, by acting up, and causing arguments between them. That didn't seem to work, so I had to make a plan to make something so bad happen that my Mom would leave my Dad. In school they were teaching us about abuse and I thought about telling my counselor that my Dad beat me, but since he didn't and I didn't have any bruises on me I couldn't say that. That is when I hit on sexual abuse. They taought us allot about that in sex-ed at school an I knew what to say about that. I could just say enough to my counselor so there wouldn't be any physocal signs and get my Mom mad enough at Dad so that she would leave him. So I talked to my counselor. She kept telling me that I didn't do anything wrong, and that I wasn't the only one with this problem. She acted as though she was my best friend and immediately believed everything I said. She didn't even ask any questions. I thought this was great, my lie is going to work. She said she had to call CPS (Child Protective Services) and someone would come and talk to me about it. Eventually a lady named Corinne came and talked to me. By this time I had my story down pat after telling it to my school counselor. When I saw her she said that she was so worried about me and she told me she was here to help me. I told her my lie. She told me my Dad was sick and needed professional help. She told me about foster care and made it sound wonderful, and that I wouldn't be held against my will, and that I would only be there a very short time. I thought this would give my Mom enough time to get mad at my dad and leave him. They didn't take me that day but I told my Mom about it. My Mom didn't react like I expected though, because she didn't believe me. She said that some of the things I said didn't make sense, because some of the times I said my Dad did things to me, she was either with him, or was watching us. She thought that maybe I misunderstood my Dad showing me normal affection for something else. Anyway, because of this I started to get a little scared that this wasn't going to work and maybe this wasn't enough to really shake her up. The next school day, I went to my counselor and told her that my Dad touched me again (he didn't) and that I wanted to call Corinne. She came to school to see me and told me she was going to take me down to Victim Services. In the car she told me that I was going to talk to someone who worked for the police dept. When we got there we went into a room that had a two-way mirror and a camcorder on the other side of the mirror. A asked him what the camcorder was for and he said it was so he didn't have to take notes, and that it was confidential between me, Corrine and him. So I told my lie again, but since I didn't have much detail, he started asking me leading questions about things that let me know what he wanted to hear. My lie grew as I figured out what he wanted. Then Corrine said that "SHE" was going to take custody of me. We went to her office and called some foster homes to see where she could put me.

Corrine drove me to the foster home and I started to get scared, but I thought this would shake up Mom enough to divorce my Dad. At that point in time I realized I had NO idea what I had started. After a few days I realized this wasn't working the way I expected and this was NOT what I wanted at all. Not only that but now I knew what I had lost, and how mean I had been to my Dad and realized how much he tried to be a good Dad to me and how much he loved me. My Family was and is the most important thing that I have. I was so lucky that Mom and Dads marriage was so strong, I need them both. I found out that DSS is NOT my friend and that the only people that know best for me and who protect me are my Mom and Dad who love me. I had to go to Victim Services again so that the man there could see how things were going. When I got there I went into the same room with the mirror and camcorder. The man asked me how things were going, and I said awful and told him I lied about all of this, none of the things I said that my Dad did to me were true. I told him my plan to make my Mom divorce my Dad and said that wasn't what I wanted now. He said that I have confused things and that people weren't going to know what to believe. After that no one seemed to care about me, they turned their backs on me. No one would talk to me. Now I had no one at all. I was so alone and so scared, I couldn't talk to my Mom or Dad because they wouldn't let me. They didn't even know where I was. After a couple more days they finally let me see my Mom. I just broke down when I saw her and all I could say was that I was so sorry, tell Dad I am so sorry. Then after talking to Mom I found out that the police were trying to put Dad in jail and they were using that tape they made that was supposed to be confidential. I also found out that DSS basically owned me now they had taken custody of me in court. They didn't tell me about any of this; I didn't have a clue that all this was going to happen. I had discovered that DSS was EVIL and that all they wanted to do is break up my family and put my Dad in jail. They lied to me to get me to say things that weren't true on video just so they could break up my family and take control over me. I hate them. They said they were "protecting" me but now I feel so unsafe and scared. They are the ones who I need protected from. Since I have been in foster care, I have seen and heard things I could never have imagined. I was in a room with another girl who was really abused, and I could see for the first time why my parents tried to teach me things they did, and how lucky I was to have a kind, gentle Daddy I had and that my Mom and Dad being together was really GOOD for me, and that we need to be together as a strong family.

Well, for the past 4 weeks we have been in therapy. It has been a total waste of time. They are supposed to be getting to the bottom of all this but all they want is Dad to take a polygraph lie detector test to "prove" that he did't do anything. Dad, my Mom and me are all telling them exactly the same story, it seems that they just cannot handle the truth, that none of what I lied about happened. They haven't been able to prove anything that I said in my lie, but if they would look, and ask the right questions they would find that I lied and my Dad would NEVER do anything like that to me. They are making him out to be guilty and have to prove himself innocent. I didn't know that was the way our country worked; as far as I am concerned it isn't. I lied. My Dad did nothing, yet he is the one who is being blamed for this. It isn't fair. They said to my Mom and Dad that they shouldn't want me home because I might do this again, and they are doing anything to keep our family ripped apart. They told me that even if my Dad passes the polygraph lie detector that I would have to stay in foster care until they could find out that my Dad wasn't going to slap me around or throw something at me because he was mad at me. That made me VERY angry because I know my Dad forgives me and has never hit anyone in anger or for any other reason. They had No reason to say that to me. These therapists say they are so good at getting to the bottom of things, but they are dragging their feet on this like you wouldn't believe, and they don't care. They are just playing a game with us and this is my family, this is NOT a game.

This Christmas I got to stay at home with my Mom and my Brother because my foster family was going out of state. BUT my DAD had to leave because I was there and I didn't get to spend the holidays with him, and that's what hurt the most. I need to tell my Dad I am sorry for all the hurt I brought on him. I need to hear him say that he forgives me for the horrible things I have done. But they won't let me. I guess it would interfere with their "plan" to keep our family apart. Today I have to go back to the foster home, and I will be back in isolation.

I can't change what I did, but I can make things better in the future. I know that if they did this to me, they have and will do this to other children and their families and I want to do anything to stop them!!!!!

But first, I want to go home to my family. Please, if anyone can help me call my Mom and Dad. This thing is such a monster that we can't handle it on our own. They tell me I have no legal rights to do anything about this. I can't believe that is true. Please Please help me. I am scared about what is going to happen and I need your help.

Yours truly,

Crystal S.